Danganronpa: Variety Show Havoc
by Vocalmon
Summary: After being pressured by the number of bills, fees, complaints, and government threats, Principal Jin Kirigiri has reluctantly allowed the government to film a variety show with the students of Hope's Peak Academy. As for the students, there are mixed reactions. While everyone thinks the show would be a blast, they don't know how crazy the world of variety is.
1. Chapter 1

It was just another regular day at Hope's Peak Academy. A certain family heir was being stalked by a certain writer, a swimmer was eating an insane amount of doughnuts, a princess was scolding both a mechanic and breeder, and a hall monitor was scolding a yakuza and biker gang leader. How normal could it get? On the fourth floor, the principal sat on his desk organizing several fines, bills, noise complaints, and notices from the government threatening the principal to get his students in line before action needed to be taken. From his door, two knocks were heard.

"Mr. Kirigiri." A female voice called out. "You have guest."

"Come in."

With the office door open, a young woman in her early twenties walked in with a man behind her her. The woman wore appropriate clothing fit for an office job, with a dress shirt, black skirt, red heels, and brown hair tied in a bun, while the man behind her wore a black business suit with a green tie and neatly cut blonde hair.

"I will be taking my leave now Mr. Kirigiri." The secretary said in a monotone voice and strutted out of the office, her heels making a clicking sound as she walked.

"Thank you-" The door was slammed behind the secretary, making loud noise that cut the principal off. "-Mai."

"Good morning Mr. Jin Kirigiri, I am Kenta Natsume, head of the Hope's Peak Academy government branch."

"Ah. You must be in charge of all government work with my academy then, yes?"

"That is correct. I have come here to give you an important request by the government." Kenta smiled and handed Jin a brown envelope. He lifted an eyebrow in response but accepted the envelope, and opened it, taking out the single sheet of paper inside.

Jin Kirigiri sat there on his desk reading the letter from the government, and read it again. He read it three more times and his expression became even more puzzle than the last. After how many minutes, Jin looked at Kenta with the most confused face.

"You want my students to run a variety show?"

"They are quite popular, aren't they?"

"The students, or variety shows?"

"Both of course. Your students are quite the talk in government gossip."

Jin sighed in embarrassment. "Great. Always wanted my students to be popular with the government."

"Don't worry. We see your students in a comedic aspect."

" _Even better_." Jin thought to himself.

"So why is the government interested in my students?"

"I was supposed to tell you it's to help spread their names and make them famous across the world to guarantee a good future for them, but in reality the government has decided to exploit the academy and it's students." Kenta laughed and Jin just stared at him.

"You're surprisingly honest."

"It's why I'm not popular at the office."

" _I feel like I'm talking with an adult version of that boy...Makoto, I think his name was._ " Jin thought to himself, then asked Kenta a question.

"What's in it for the academy?"

"Anything you want. You may not realize it, but the government is really set on this idea. So anything you ask for, the government will give."

Jin Kirigiri glanced at the stack of files he was organizing a few minutes ago.

" _And that's not even a tenth of it._ " He then sighed.

" _I can't believe I'm doing this._ "

"I'll allow it." Kenta's eyes held a hint of surprise at his answer. "But."

"I will only allow if the government pays for all of the school's fees, including government charges. Next, the government cannot interfere or intrude on a student or staff's private life. And lastly, all variety show segments must be approved by me before recording can begin."

"No problem." Kenta replied, extending his arm out for a handshake. Jin extended his out and they shook them in agreement.

"I'll fax you the contract later if that's okay Mr. Kirigiri. It was a pleasure doing business with you." Kenta winked at Jin before exiting his office. Jin sighed and laid back on his chair when he was sure Kenta was far away.

"What exactly did I sign my students up for?"

* * *

"V-variety show?" Peko Pekoyama, Ultimate Swordwoman of the 77th class asked the class teacher.

"Correct!" The teacher replied, still reading their notice from the principal. "It says here starting from tomorrow you will spend one hour after school to record episodes for the show."

"Variety show?"

"I-I've never watched one before...what is it a-about?"

"Shut up! You're wasting oxygen!"

"I'm sorry! Please forgive me!"

"Variety show?! I absolutely adore them! I have always wanted to appear one! One of my favourite shows from Japan is Akbingo!"

"I'm sure Miss Sonia would be amazing in those shows."

"I see...so the entertainment industry has taken interest to my dark magic..."

"I don't think that's the case."

"What the actual hell! I'm not gonna waste my time doing some stupid show!"

"Sorry Kuzuryu. It says here it is compulsory or else you have to do two hours of cleaning."

"Dammit! I was hoping to get a nice snack after school tomorrow."

" _Variety show...sounds fun!_ "

* * *

"Variety show?" Makoto Naegi, Ultimate Lucky Student of the 78th class asked the class teacher.

"Hm? Yep. Just pass the paper around for everyone to read."

"Is it possible to get an exemption?" A monotone voice asked.

"Depends on your reason. Other than that, have fun! Variety shows aren't such a bad time waster. Class dismissed."

"No no no! But every 4:15 after school is when and episode of 'Ultimate Hope Boys' shows!"

"I have programming to do."

"Enough! Starting from tomorrow, I will make sure all of us get to recording on time! No exemptions!"

Groans rang around the classroom as the teacher left the classroom.

" _Variety show, Jin?_ " The teacher smiled to themselves. " _This should be very interesting_ _._ "

* * *

 **(A/N) Hello, all you readers who actually bother reading the author's notes. I introduce to you a short prologue to my variety show fic that will feature the characters from the Danganronpa series. Don't worry about the length as future chapters will be longer than this. I'll start working on the actual show soon, but some feedback would be nice before I begin regarding the series. On a side note, I will also 'borrow segments from already existing shows with proper credits of course.**

 **What segments do you have in mind? I'm interested as to what you readers want to see.**

 **Should I include OC's? Besides Kenta, should OC's from you guys be accepted? Their roles could vary from many things, such as hosts, segment assistants, Hope's Peak Graduates etc. I may involve you guys if you want to.**

 **What ideas do you have for the title?**

 **Thanks for reading my author's notes, and see you all next chapter. As for those wondering about my other stories like Akame ga Ronpa! or Ultimate Ma Survival, please be patient! Akame ga Ronpa! is almost ready to be updated. I'm simply having a beta reader look at the chapter before release, and Ultimate Ma Survival is being written right now.**


	2. Chapter 2

"Next up…"

"Hope's Peak Variety Show!"

"Yay!"

Sitting in a small recording booth, pop sensation Sayaka Maizono sat together with the ultimate fashionista Junko Enoshima. Both girls clapped their hands in celebration.

"Tonight's navigators are ultimate pop sensation Sayaka Maizono…"

"And ultimate fashionista or despair, Junko Enoshima!"

Sayaka gave Junko a strange look when she introduced herself but faced the camera that was filming them.

"Together we are…" Both girls said together.

"Maishima!/Enozono!"

The crew that were filming the duo began laughing in the background, causing Sayaka to blush in embarrassment.

"Enozono?" Sayaka asked Junko.

"Maishima?" Junko responded.

"Never mind!" Sayaka ended the conversation.

* * *

"Say, Sayaka. Did you know, there is something I value more than fashion?"

Sayaka turned to Junko with a smile saying. "Your sister, right?"

Junko laughed in response. "No! Despair, of course!"

"Eh?" Sayaka deadpanned.

The recording booth and camera crew remained silent.

"That's right. Just this morning, I secretly spiked Taka's bento with a huge bottle of hot sauce! He won't see all that despair coming at him."

"Eh?"

"I even put the empty bottle in Makoto's bag! Ha! Wait til' Taka starts inspecting everyone's bags during lunch break." Junko began flailing her arms and legs in joy.

"Eh?"

"And also, in your bag-"

"I think we've all had enough despair for like, our lifeline, Junko. Tonight on Hope's Peak Variety Show, we begin the series off with a blast. A game of muchaburi dodgeball, heavily inspired by the existing variety show Akbingo!"

"That's right!" Junko added, after regaining her composure. "Our classmates will face the most despairing punishments."

"Well then, Hope's Peak Variety Show is starting!

"See you all soon!" Both Junko and Sayaka waved goodbye to the camera.

* * *

Once you're out, you will face punishment. The game where the students fight for their survival in return for another's suffering.

 **Muchaburi Dodgeball**

Walking down the gym, eight people walked down the right and left hand side of the gym. Eight from the 77th class, and eight from the 78th class. Sitting on the sidelines, 14 more students.

"Hello everyone viewing the show!" Standing at the center of the gym, a young man with black hair, a bear headband, and a monochrome hoodie. "I am your wonderful host, Monokuma!"

Next to him, a young girl with pink hair, a rabbit headband, and a white dress that reached above her knees. "And I'm-"

"Nobody cares." Monokuma proclaimed, cutting off the other host. In response, the second host whimpered but remained silent.

"Now, please bow to each other!"

The eight students from each class bowed to each other.

"Now, linesman, please explain the rules." Monokuma gestured to a pair of students that were holding red flags in front of a camera.

"Minna-san, konnichiwa! I am the ultimate princess, Sonia Nevermind from the seventy seventh class."

"And I am the ultimate fashionista or despair from the seventy eighth class, Junko Enoshima!"

"The rules are the same as regular dodgeball." Sonia started.

"But the players that are out must do a crazy punishment that will surely bring despair!" Junko added on.

"Now then…"

"Back to the monochrome man!"

"..."

Everyone in the gym had remained silent, including the filming crew. Monokuma looked ready to impale Junko with a spear and the second host was struggling to hold him back.

"Monochrome man?!" Monokuma asked.

"Hajime Hinata of course. He's so plain, I feel like I'm colour blind when I look at him." Junko answered, causing several people to laugh and give bad looks to her at the same time.

 **Hajime Hinata - Ultimate Reserve Course Student**

"Wait, me?!" Hajime demanded, his cheeks turning pink. But the duo failed to respond as they were busy waving to the camera.

"Well then, let's begin!" Monokuma announced.

"Wait one second, why am I the monochrome-"

* * *

For this game, we have both classes in their separate teams of eight.

From the 77th class, we have:

 **Ultimate Swordswoman - Peko Pekoyama**

 **Ultimate Gymnast - Akane Owari**

 **Ultimate Team Manager - Nekomaru Nidai**

 **Ultimate Cook - Teruteru Hanamura**

 **Ultimate Mechanic - Kazuichi Soda**

 **Ultimate Yakuza - Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu**

 **Ultimate Photographer - Mahiru Koizumi**

 **Ultimate Lucky Student - Nagito Komaeda**

For the 78th class:

 **Ultimate Swimming Pro - Aoi Asahina**

 **Ultimate Fighter - Sakura Ogami**

 **Ultimate Lucky Student - Makoto Naegi**

 **Ultimate Soldier - Mukuro Ikusaba**

 **Ultimate Detective - Kyoko Kirigiri**

 **Ultimate Biker Gang Leader - Mondo Owada**

 **Ultimate Moral Compass - Kiyotaka Ishimaru**

 **Ultimate Gambler - Celestia Ludenberg**

Who will be the first to face punishment?

"Alright, for our first punishment…" Monokuma put his hand into a hat, and pulled out a slip of paper. He then unfolded it and read it aloud.

"Embarrassing wardrobe! More will be explained when someone is out. But for now, let's begin!"

 **Round Start**

The second host blew her whistle and Monokuma threw the ball to the center of the gym. Immediately, Akane Owari runs up and grabs the ball. In response, the opposing team backs away and stays near the boundaries. Behind each team, there are two players to either catch or throw any balls that go out of bounds. For the 77th class, Nekomaru Nidai and Mahiru Koizumi, and Mondo Owada and Kiyotaka Ishimaru for the 78th.

"Go, Coach Nekomaru!" Akane Owari threw the ball and Nekomaru Nidai has successfully caught it.

Being alert, most of the team went to the opposite side of the playing field, but there some who were still slow catching up, despite wearing their P.E. uniforms. Nekomaru takes aim and throws the ball. Successfully striking Makoto Naegi's back.

Usami blows her whistle and Monokuma announces that Makoto is out.

 **Player Out**

 _The game began with Akane passing the ball to Nekomaru who was easily caught from his end of the gymnasium. Nekomaru takes aim at the fleeing 78th class and strikes with precise aim and remarkable speed. And with that, Makoto Naegi is the first one out, and the first one to face a punishment._

 **It's Punishment Time**

"Wait, I'm out already? It hasn't even been five minutes in the game yet!" Makoto protested, only to be responded with several snickers from both the 77th and the 78th class.

"Then you can blame your amazing luck. Now let's explain how embarrassing wardrobe works."

 _The concept of this punishment is similar to the muchaburi Embarrassing make up from Akbingo! But this time, we will be using clothing instead of make-up. The way it works is that if you are out, players from the opposite team will choose clothing that the player must wear for the rest of the game._

"Can I please have the players from the 77th class and Makoto follow my assistant host Monomi."

The players from the 77th class went up to the second host, and Makoto reluctantly followed.

"It's Usami, you stupid brother!" Usami replied, earning her a whack to the head from Monokuma.

"Ow...everyone, please follow me to the costume room."

 _With several choices at their disposal, what exactly did the 77th class plan for poor Makoto to wear for the entire game? It's time for the reveal._

* * *

"Remove the curtain!" Monokuma ordered.

Immediately, the 77th class players removed a curtain to reveal Makoto's clothing for the rest of the episode. When the curtain was removed, Makoto stood there with his face a crimson red, with his hands holding a piece of clothing down.

Makoto Naegi was wearing the Hope's Peak Academy girl's uniform.

In response, most of the girls began squealing and most of the boys were furiously blushing. The linesman Junko and Sonia however developed nosebleeds and were trying to stop the blood, but couldn't help fangirling.

"Makoto?!" The boys in the 78th class shouted. Some of the girls like Aoi Asahina or Sayaka tried to give supporting looks, but couldn't help but grin at the sight.

All the boys in the 77th class were laughing their asses off, and while the girls were squealing, Mahiru had taken out a camera and took pictures.

"And there you have it!" Monokuma proclaimed. "The players have decided as to what Makoto should wear for the rest of this episode. Makoto, how do you feel?"

"I'm so embarrassed." He whimpered. "I was going to record today's episode to watch again, but now I don't want to-Koizumi please stop taking photos of me!"

"This is definitely going in the yearbook."

"Look on the bright side Makoto." Sayaka said to him. "I think you look really cute in that."

"It suits you!" Aoi Asahina added.

"Please don't say that. I feel like I'm gonna fail as a man."

"He's even wearing the panties and bra." Teruteru added while his nose was dripping blood.

"Don't tell them that!"

"The yaoi is strong with this one." Sonia proclaimed, pointing at Makoto. "I hereby proclaim that Makoto shall wear this for school everyday."

"No!"

* * *

"Now for the second punishment...public performance!"

"Eh?"

"What is that?"

"Now, let us change the camera."

The main screen camera changes to one that shows the Hope's Peak Academy cafeteria. Occupying the seats, the 76th class were hanging out, studying, or eating snacks.

"If you are out, you will perform in front of the 76th class! Let's play!"

 _With only 7 people remaining, can the 78th class be able to inflict vengeance with the ball at their side?_

* * *

 **Round Start**

Usami blew her whistle and the game began. Mukuro Ikusaba who had the ball ran to the boundary and took aim. She throws towards Fuyuhiko's direction, but...

"Young master!"

Peko Pekoyama took the blow for the yakuza.

Usami blows her whistle.

"Peko is out!" Monokuma announced.

 **Player Out**

 _That round went surprisingly fast. But with the ultimate soldier in charge, it's no surprise. Mukuro Ikusaba had the ball going in Fuyuhiko's direction, but Peko had taken the ball to save him from the punishment. Now it's time for-_

"It didn't hit her!" Fuyuhiko shouted.

"Young master…"

"That ball didn't fucking hit her! I saw it with my own two fucking eyes!"

"So you claim that Peko didn't get hit?" Monokuma asked in a dangerous tone.

"That's right! Now let's continue this stupid-"

"Surely, the linesman must have been watching carefully. Miss Enoshima, if you will."

Junko walked up to Fuyuhiko and Peko with a blank stare on her face. "So you claim he ball didn't hit Peko?"

"No shit!"

"But I saw her get hit. Do you still claim it didn't hit her?"

"Yes!"

"Very well...hahaha! No fucking way did she not get hit! Nice half ass attempt to get her exempted from the punishment, but you're just gonna have to face the despair!"

Junko then turned to Monokuma with a smile and raised her arm with a thumbs up. "Out!"

"She says it's out!"

 **It's Punishment Time**

"Peko Pekoyama, you will choose one item to use for your performance. When you reach the cafeteria, you will be allowed to use anything there at your disposal."

"Then I choose my bamboo sword." Peko answered, and walked off to the cafeteria.

"Well then. Let's change the camera, shall we?"

* * *

"Man. Classes today were so boring!"

"Right? I swear I could've swore I saw our teacher's eyes turn all red and puffy!"

"And the fact that the 77th and 78th class get to be in a variety show."

"So lucky!"

"I hope we-huh? Pekoyama, shouldn't you be recording the variety show with your class?"

Standing in front of her seniors, Peko stood there with a blank expression. She then took out her bamboo sword from it's bag and held it in a way that it was balanced on her palm. The 76th class looked at her with confused expressions and watched Peko grab plates with her free hand.

"Eh?"

Peko then threw a plate in the air and balanced it on her sword. She began adding more plates on top and started spinning her sword, making the plates spin as well.

From the gymnasium, everyone was watching Peko with wide eyes or curious faces. The silent and formal swordswoman was showing off a ridiculous talent that nobody would have expected her to have. Monokuma decided to call Peko back.

"Alright Peko, you can come back now."

Peko then put her sword back in it's bag, allowing the plates to fall and shatter on the floor. The 76th class didn't do anything but watch Peko leave with dumbstruck facial expressions.

* * *

"Welcome back." Monokuma said to the Peko that had returned from her punishment. "You looked more like you had fun so I don't know if I can even call it a punishment anymore…"

"Well it did ruin her image to her seniors, did it not? I think that alone is bad enough." Usami said, trying to protect Peko from anymore punishments.

"Aw. I was hoping to add on to it. Like having her impaled by swords-"

"Let's move on to the next round." Usami announced, cutting Monokuma off.

* * *

"This rounds punishment is...eating a pudding cup in one go! Okay, the previous punishments were weak in the despair factor, but this is just stupid."

 _The score is now even. Who will be the next victim?_

* * *

 **Round Start**

Usami blows her whistle and Monokuma passes the ball to the 77th class. Kazuichi gets the ball and passes it to Akane, the team's strongest player. Akane dribbles the ball for a bit and then makes a feint. The feint has caused all the players to change their location, thus making them all huddled up in one corner. Taking the opportunity, Akane throws the ball to the small crowd in hopes of getting a hit.

The ball hits Aoi Asahina, but what's this? Sakura Ogami has caught the ball so she isn't out. After a hug from Asahina, the ultimate fighter throws a powerful strike to the opposing team, but only to have Akane catch the ball. Unlucky!

Akane then passes it to Fuyuhiko who makes a quick throw. Not expecting Akane's pass, the 78th class was taken in by Fuyuhiko's surprise attack. The ball hits a player and Usami blows her whistle.

"Celestia out!"

 **Player Out**

 _What a crazy round this was. The amount of plays has made it the most exciting one yet. Akane's feint gets Aoi hit, but Sakura catches the ball to save her and returns the favour. But Akane catches the counter attack, and surprisingly passes it to Fuyuhiko. He throws the ball and somehow hits the ultimate gambler._

"It didn't hit me." Celestia concluded, her poker face remaining unfazed.

"Eh? But we saw it ourselves."

"You are greatly mistaken, as the ball didn't hit me."

"Well I guess we'll have to ask the linesman don't we? Miss Nevermind."

"Of course Monokuma." Sonia walked up to Celestia. "So you are claiming you are not out?"

"That is correct."

"I see. However, I saw you get hit. But back at Novoselic, we believe in a fair trial. If you can successfully slay a white makango, then you are free to go with no charges. If you fail-"

"You're not very good at this Sonia." Monokuma interrupted. "Just do the punishment."

 **It's Punishment Time**

* * *

Celestia sat in front of a table, with an apron to cover her gym uniform. In front of her, one pudding cup was on a plate.

"Well, this lame punishment will have to do. Celestia, please lay back and open your mouth."

Celestia laid back but did not open her mouth.

"I will wait for you to prepare the pudding. I will not leave my mouth open for a long period of time as it will look ridiculous on television."

Monokuma grumbled in response and opened the pudding cup.

"Say ah~"

Celestia opened her mouth and Monokuma dropped the pudding in her mouth. Celestia immediately closed her mouth and covered it with her hand to eat the pudding.

"How is it?" Monokuma asked in a sing song voice.

"I do not enjoy processed foods. Does anyone have any royal milk tea I could drink? Hm, nobody? Very well. Hifumi, start working."

"Of course Miss. Ludenberg." Hifumi Yamada ran out of the gym to make Celestia's milk tea.

Monokuma looked extremely bored, while Usami looked worried for Hifumi's sake.

"When does this recording end?" Monokuma asked Usami.

"We can end it now if you want."

"Bing bong bang bong!" Monokuma shouted. "The game is over! Victory goes to the 77th class."

The 77th class cheered while the 78th class groaned in defeat.

"Let's here some thoughts from the 78th class."

"I wish I was involved more." Mondo mused.

"I think all of us think that as well." Mahiru said back.

"Makoto! Fix your skirt at once!" Kiyotaka shouted.

"You know, there is a way to make this show more interesting." Junko said, attracting attention from everyone.

"What would that be?" Usami asked Junko.

"Fanservice!" Junko screamed in delight. She then ran up to Makoto and lifted up his skirt in front of everyone and the camera.

* * *

 **We are currently experiencing technical difficulties. We apologise for the inconvenience.**

* * *

"And that's what they've recorded today." Kenta said to the principal with a smile.

"..."

"What's wrong Jin?"

"I don't remember allowing you to call me by my first name."

"Sorry Mr. Kirigiri. So what's wrong with the recording?"

"I don't know whether it would be a good idea to even release the episode. I don't even know who those two hosts are."

"Well, we can easily censor the bit where Junko lifts Makoto's skirt. As for the hosts, they are Monokuma and Usami, popular in the entertainment industry and known as the Mono-duo."

"It's just...my students images could be ruined from airing this episode."

"Oh. Well that may be a bit complicated because we may have already sent the episode to Japan's national television network."

Immediately, Jin Kirigiri slammed his head down on his desk.

Kenta laughed and stood up to take his leave.

"I'll see you tomorrow for the recording then Jin."

"Don't call me by my first name."

* * *

Next time, on Hope's Peak Variety Show:

 _How confident are the students when it comes to cooking? Do they have the skills to make proper food and not just cup noodles? Join us next episode as we watch the students of Hope's Peak Academy cook up masterpieces. Or in some cases,_

" _What the hell is this?!"_

" _I'm gonna puke if I look at it any longer than I have to."_

 _Only on Hope's Peak Variety Show. See you all next episode!_

* * *

 **(A/N) Well this chapter was ridiculously stupid in my opinion. I don't know about you guys but my 'comedic writing' is not even funny XD**

 **Hopefully I can do a better job next chapter, but for now you guys get this mess. If you notice any typos, feel free to let me know. Preferably through guest review so I can delete it later but it's fine if it isn't.**

 **Also, show your support if you want to through follows, favourites, and reviews. Anything helps.**

 **Thanks for the reviews, and I'll see you all in episode 2!**


	3. Chapter 3

_This time on Hope's Peak Variety Show, we asked the students on their cooking abilities._

" _I learned how to cook at a very young age._ " Sayaka said to the camera. " _I was often alone so I learned to cook simple dishes._ "

" _I can't cook._ " Kyoko Kirigiri responded to the question. " _Most of the time it's take out or cup noodles._ "

" _Yes, in fact I can._ " Hifumi replied, busy brewing a drink. " _But Ms. Ludenberg only wants me to make royal milk tea._ "

 _How terrible is this?! We turned the results into statistics, and almost all the girls were able to cook, and a very small portion of boys could as well. Everyone else has absolutely no knowledge in the activity!_

 _Well this changes now!_

* * *

"Welcome back to Hope's Peak Variety Show. I am your host Monokuma."

"And I'm Usami!"

"It's Monomi!" Monokuma shouted and whacked her head. "Today, we have a small handful of students from the seventy seventh and seventy eighth classes participating in a cooking challenge. We'll have a tag team cooking contest with three teams of two from each class."

"Furthermore, we have some special judges to taste their creations. Besides me and Monokuma, we have Ultimate Cook Teruteru Hanamura, and Ultimate Idol Sayaka Maizono."

"Hello everyone." Teruteru said to the camera in a seductive tone. "If you're hungry, feel free to stop by my diner. I have so much to offer. So much to-"

"And I'm sure you all know me. I'm Sayaka Maizono, leader of my idol group."

"Now let's introduce the tag teams from the seventy seventh class first, take it away Monomi!"

"The first team that will be Akane Owari and Nekomaru Nidai. They will be in charge of picking ingredients."

"Yes, I'm Akane, Ultimate Gymnast!"

"AND NEKOMARU NIDAI! ULTIMATE TEAM MANAGER!"

"Indoor voices, please!" Monokuma shouted.

"Together we are...Akaneko!"

"And that's a stupid name! Next up…"

"Hajime Hinata, Ultimate Reserve Course Student."

"And Nagito Komaeda, Ultimate Lucky Student and Trash."

Hajime and Nagito stood back to back, attempting to look cool. But Monokuma was making fun of them and the girls from their class were facepalming.

"Together we're Komahina."

"Hold it!"

"Hm?" Monokuma turned to the seventy eighth class. "You wanted to say something Asahina?"

"What happens if me and Nagito are in the same team? Wouldn't we also be called Komahina?"

The everyone went silent in the kitchen.

"..."

"Ahem." Monokuma grunted. "That would be the case, but let's be real here. You and Nagito will never be in the same team. Last team up is Kazuichi Soda and Gundham Tanaka. Ultimate Mechanic and Breeder."

"Wait, why don't we get to introduce ourselves?!" Soda shouted to Monokuma.

"Because we need to introduce the seventy eighth class and nobody cares about you two!"

"You dare speak that way to the dark lord? I will have my vengeance!"

"Yeah yeah yeah. From the seventy eighth class we have…"

"Mondo Owada. Ultimate Biker Gang Leader. Now answer me Monokuma why da hell I gotta do this stupid show?"

"Language Mondo! That is not welcome in a school environment! My name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru, Ultimate Moral Compass! I shall do my best!" Ishimaru bowed in front of the camera, earning a few snickers from the seventy seventh class. "Our group name is Ishimondo!"

"Um, hi my name is Makoto Naegi, Ultimate Lucky Student. I hope you're having a nice day." Makoto sheepishly introduced himself to the camera.

"Kyoko Kirigiri. Ultimate Detective." Kyoko tied her hair into a ponytail with a ribbon and fixed her apron.

"And we're…" Makoto began, expecting Kyoko to join in.

"..."

"Naegiri." Makoto said with a forced smile.

"Lame lame lame! Last group make it snappy!"

"I'm Aoi Asahina, but please call me Hina. I'm the Ultimate Swimmer and my favourite food is doughnuts!"

"I am Sakura Ogami, Ultimate Fighter." Sakura had her arms crossed but smiled.

"Together we're Sakuraoi!"

Monokuma faked a barf noise in the background which made Hina shout at Monokuma.

"Monomi any thoughts on the matchups?"

"Well, I think-"

"What about you Teruteru? Wait, no you'll give some stupid perverted answer. Sayaka?"

"I think the tag teams were really well matched. Everyone here has good chemistry with each other, so teamwork will definitely work. If Makoto and Kyoko are in the same team they can overcome anything. However the match is still even, and both sides have an equal chance at winning."

"Is that so? Bleugh the hope is awful. In fact, why don't I shuffle-Toko Fukawa shut up!"

"It's not fair...me and Master Byakuya should be in a team together!"

"Please. I couldn't care less about this show." Byakuya muttered to himself.

"So what dish are we making today? Today we're making...okonomiyaki!" Monokuma revealed a plate that he had kept hidden the entire time. On the plate, a whole okonomiyaki shaped like a bear head. Usami screamed in horror and Monokuma was trying to force feed her the atrocity.

* * *

"Round 1, choosing ingredients...start!"

Immediately, team Akaneko and Ishimondo ran up to the ingredients stand with baskets in their hands. Nekomaru and Taka were choosing their ingredients carefully and Mondo was just there. Meanwhile Akane was grabbing everything and putting it in her basket.

"Akane, I understand this is very exciting…" Sayaka said trying to not laugh. "But why are you getting everything?"

"Because! Anything goes with okonomiyaki! It's like a pancake. You can put anything in the batter."

"That's not how it works." Hajime responded, trying to not offend the gymnast.

The alarm rang and the teams went back to their stations to prepare the ingredients. Akane's team picked one of every ingredient available in the kitchen, while Mondo's was limited due to the fact Mondo didn't offer any help choosing ingredients.

"Alright Coach Nekomaru. What do we do?"

"Open everything!"

With that, their team had begun unpacking everyone that was wrapped in a packaging.

"The hell we do now?"

"Language Mondo! We shall thaw out these strips of bacon. Remove the packaging while I prepare everything else for Makoto and Kyoko to take care of."

Mondo started putting individual strips of bacon on the table counter, without anything to cover the counter. Taka on the other hand went to the sink and began washing his hands.

"Mondo-" Teruteru tried to speak but Sayaka taped his mouth with tape.

"Mondo, did you wash your hands?"

"No. Why?"

"N-nothing...keep up the good work!" Sayaka gave him a thumbs up.

"Bing bong bang bong! Next tag teams up, for cooking!"

* * *

Hajime and Nagito went through the ingredients that Akane and Nekomaru chose. Needless to say they were incredibly dumbstruck with what was chosen. Several fruits, chocolates, every kind of meat from every kind of organ, seafood, but the worst was…

"Is this fugu fish?!" Hajime asked in disbelief.

"Mhm. What about it?" Monokuma asked casually.

"This is poisonous!" Hajime shouted, and threw the fish in the bin. Nagito however picked it up and began cutting it without Hajime noticing.

"Makoto why aren't you doing anything?"

In the seventy eighth class' kitchen counter, Kyoko was busy mixing the ingredients into a batter, while Makoto just stood there doing nothing. He put an arm behind his head in embarrassment.

"I don't want to get in her way. Hehe…"

"Well you might wanna soon, because she's burning all the food." Monokuma interrupted and pointed to the smoke that was coming out of the frying pan that Kyoko was using. Makoto jumped in shock and Kyoko grabbed a fire extinguisher, blowing it on the burning food.

"Sorry Makoto." Kyoko said quietly.

"It's fine. We can just make another one." Makoto grabbed the bowl of batter and began cooking a new okonomiyaki.

"Bleugh. The hope being displayed is stupid and poorly executed."

"Well we are at Hope's Peak Academy." Usami tried to explain to Monokuma, who hit her in response.

"That's it. I'm bored! Round over, next team!"

* * *

The last two tag teams ran up to their counters to decorate their dishes. The seventy seventh class' okonomiyaki looked pretty normal, but had these suspicious white strips that looked a lot like a certain poisonous fish…

"Soda! Gundham! Do your best and make our class win another battle against our juniors!" Sonia shouted from the sidelines.

"Of course Miss Sonia!"

"Do not underestimate the dark lord you mere peasant."

The two of them began the decorating process. Well, you could call it a decorating process. But all they did was have Soda out the food on the plate, and Gundham cast a 'curse' on the dish that would please the four judges. Meanwhile, Sakura and Hina stared at the burned food that Makoto and Kyoko made together.

"Surely, ketchup makes it all better. Right Sakura?"

"It is our only choice Hina."

Hina then grabbed a bottle of ketchup, and squirted it so it covered the entire dish.

"Much better." Hina admired her work with a smile, but the judges were forcing a smile.

"Bing bong bang bong! Time's up! Unfortunately. Please serve your dishes to the judges."

* * *

Let's start with the seventy eighth class. For the seventy eighth class, they have served a simple okonomiyaki with lettuce, bacon, shrimp, and a lot of ketchup on the surface. Monokuma looked at the dish with disgust, Teruteru tried not to laugh, and Sayaka and Usami tried their best to give supporting looks. Needless to say they failed.

"I'm not very hungry...Monomi you eat my share." Monokuma proclaimed to the camera, and Usami screamed in horror.

"M-me! But I can't possibly! Rabbits can't eat okonomiyaki! Well, not disgusting-" Usami looked up to see that the seventy eighth class participants looked very sad. Minus Kyoko. And Mondo because he looked pissed. "I-I'll eat it…" Usami's fake rabbit ears drooped and she grabbed a pair of chopsticks, cut off a small portion, and put it in her mouth.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Well?! We don't have all day!" Monokuma shouted to Usami.

"It's really bitter." Usami muttered, and began having a coughing fit.

Teruteru popped a small portion in his mouth as well. He let a cough escape but tried to talk to the girls in a seductive tone. "You know. I can give a high rating in exchange for a pair of pant-"

"I'll try some!" Sayaka said in order to cut off Teruteru from the camera. She took a small piece and ate it. "*Cough* It tastes great guys. Keep up the good work." Sayaka gave a thumbs up to her class.

"That means nothing coming from you." Mondo thought out loud. Sayaka pouted her lips but didn't respond.

"Now let's get going to the seventy seventh class' dish."

* * *

The seventy seventh class really outdid themselves this time. A deluxe dish of okonomiyaki using far more appealing condiments. Their dish includes shrimp in the dish and a fried egg on top. Okonomi sauce and mayonnaise decorate the top, and bonito flakes to top it. However the main attraction is…

When the dish was served, the thin white slices of a certain poisonous fish stood out in the dish. All four judges took a closer look at the dish and held expressions of horror.

"Is that?" Monokuma began.

"Fugu fish?" Usami continued.

"Aren't they poisonous?" Sayaka asked with concern.

"We can't eat this." Teruteru concluded. "Chefs need years of training before they can serve fugu fish. If I'm correct, only I can serve it!"

"Then I guess Usami will have to." Monokuma said in a sing song tone.

"Why me? I don't want to die!"

"Before I force feed you, does this count as murder?"

"Yes!" Everyone shouted at him.

"Perfect!" Monokuma shoved a big piece with a big strip of fugu fish into Usami's mouth. "Say ah~"

Usami unwillingly swallowed the risky dish, and waited for a minute.

"..."

"..."

"Did it fail?" Monokuma asked.

"How lucky." Nagito mused. "If I failed, me and Monokuma would be sent to jail."

"I'm so glad…" Usami said with tears of joy. "*Cough* Huh? *Cough cough*"

"Never mind." Nagito said with a laugh. "Looks like she's dying."

"Call an ambulance." Kyoko ordered the filming crew.

* * *

 **We are currently experiencing technical difficulties. We apologise for the inconvenience.**

* * *

"And that's what happened today JIn."

"Kenta, stop addressing me by my first name."

"You're doing it to me." Kenta pouted.

"That's because you told me to call you that!"

"Well, we've sent it to the television network so it should air soon."

"You do realize that this school will soon be recognized as a school full of nut jobs."

"I know I know. But you get paid remember~"

Jin sighed and hung up on Kenta.

" _Be strong Jin. You're doing this for the students, despite ruining their reputations. Also, I need to talk to Mondo about his hygiene, Nagito on serving fugu fish, and maybe teach Kyoko how to cook…_ "

* * *

 _Next time on Hope's Peak Variety Show:_

 _Decide on the events of the next episode. With two activities to choose from, what will happen?_

 _1\. A game of lies and deception. Shoujiki Shougi, almost fully copied from Akbingo!_

 _Or…_

 _2\. A group date between ten randomly chosen students from the seventy seventh and seventy eighth class!_

 _The choice is yours!_

* * *

 **(A/N) So I'm not accepting OCs yet. Maybe at around the fifth episode I'll make an announcement or something. So yeah, you guys get to pick the next episode activity. Shoujiki Shougi or a group date? (I have a feeling as to what you guys will choose. Just leave a review as to what you want to happen and I'll do what the majority says.**

 **See you guys next episode, and thank you all for the reviews, favourites, and follows!**


	4. Chapter 4

"Welcome back to another episode of Hope's Peak Variety Show. I'm your host, Monokuma."

"And I'm-"

"Today we picked a small handful of students to participate in a group date. What's so special about this one? We have several despair inducing activities and pranks in store for these lucky participants. Let's get right in and introduce everyone."

Kyoko Kirigiri

Ibuki Mioda

Celestia Ludenberg

Hifumi Yamada

Peko Pekoyama

Akane Owari

Nekomaru Nidai

Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu

Kiyotaka Ishimaru

Sakura Ogami

"So how many of you have been on a group date before?"

No hands were raised.

"How many of you have been on a date?"

Peko was about to raise her hand but Fuyuhiko stopped her. No hands were raised again.

"How many of you are all single losers?"

No hands were raised.

"At least show some excitement!" Monokuma shouted, realising why nobody was raising their hands.

* * *

"Do any of you now where we are?"

"Nezumi Theme Park." Kyoko answered.

"Correct! First, we will split you all into groups of two-"

"Wouldn't the term pairs, be much easier Monokuma." Celeste challenged Monokuma, making him scream in anger.

"You will get into _pairs_ , and explore the park together. The _pairs_ will be determined through a luck draw. Later, we will all meet up for dinner, and then you can confess your feelings to your love."

"W-what?" Ishimaru began sweating.

"You heard me! But first, let's get your opinions on who you would prefer to be with today…"

* * *

 _Celeste: How very bold of Monokuma to ask me who I would want based on first impressions. Out of everyone, nobody interests me. I do have my eye on Hifumi, but only to use him for my personal benefits. His royal milk has improved since we first got to this academy._

 _Hifumi: I have no interests for any of the girls here. 2D is the only way for me._

 _Kyoko: I will be frank. I am not interested in any of the people present._

 _Peko: *Blushing* I-I cannot just...perhaps the young master…_

 _Fuyuhiko: Why the hell do I have to answer this? There's no way I'm gonna say who I'm interested in...I mean, I don't like anyone in general!_

 _Sakura: I harbour no feelings for anyone here. I do not usually tell anyone this but my heart remains faithful to my first love._

 _Ibuki: Aww...Ibuki was hoping Hajime could make it. Even Ryota works. But if Ibuki must choose, she chooses the ogre!_

 _Akane: Coach Nekomaru of course! Who else?_

 _Nekomaru: Bwahaha! I have to say, Akane is the closest to what I'm looking for. Lately, I've been giving 'it' to her._

 _Taka: I cannot allow this group date to happen! Public display of affection is not welcome in a school environment. This variety show has become a bad influence on my fellow schoolmates. Action must be taken before-_

* * *

"Boy, they have no lives." Monokuma muttered to himself as he monitored the ten students with a surveillance camera system that he installed. "This is the behind the scenes of the group date, and we will cause much despair on these students. Joining me today for some pranks is…"

"Hey everyone. It's your fashionista Junko Enoshima. But feel free to call me one of the despair sisters. I'm with my sis Mukuro, here to deliver despair! So who is with who Monokuma?"

"These people!"

Ibuki with Peko

Hifumi with Kyoko

Celeste with Fuyuhiko

Nekomaru with Sakura

Akane with Kiyotaka

"Interesting pairings...let's ruin their dates!"

"Up top!" Monokuma and Junko gave each other a high five.

* * *

"Let's examine the first group…"

From the camera, you could see that Ibuki was dragging Peko around the theme park, stopping for cotton candy, rides, puking out cotton candy, and games. All expenses paid for by the government!

Pretend I never said that last bit.

"Peko-chan! Let's climb the castle!" Ibuki began climbing the castle which alerted the security guard stationed nearby.

"Excuse me miss, you're not allowed to climb the castle."

"But it's fun! Right Peko-chan?"

The guard turned to Peko. "Please tell her to-"

"Could you repeat that?" Peko asked, her red eyes staring directly to the guard's soul.

"Nothing miss. Have a good day!" And with that, he ran off.

 _Monokuma: Bwahaha! That look of despair on the guard's face. I'm surprised they hired someone with the lack of a backbone!_

 _Junko: I'm bored. Nothing we do can bring those two to despair even if we tried._

 _Monokuma: You're just being lazy!_

* * *

Hifumi was running around the park chortling while wearing many of the mascot clothing from the gift shops. Kyoko followed close behind staying on her phone. There really was no chemistry.

 _Monokuma: This is lame. Let's activate the water fountain near Kyoko, shall we?_

Instantly, the water fountain near Kyoko exploded and began to rain on the detective. Kyoko was slightly taken back but remained her stoic expression. She wiped her hair and walked away with a slightly pissed look.

 _Junko: What the f*ck? She had like, no reaction!_

 _Mukuro: I'm here for you Junko..._

* * *

"Be a dear a get me a royal milk tea. You can also get yourself something." Celeste handed Fuyuhiko a single thousand yen bill.

"Why the hell should I do that?"

"Because you are the male in the relationship. And I do believe a gentleman must care to his ladies' needs."

"Go to hell. I'm not doing your bidding just because Monokuma put us here in this stupid date."

"Hmph. Fine, I shall go get it myself." With that, Celeste walked off to buy her royal milk tea.

 _Monokuma: Attitude~_

 _Junko: You should see her when she's mad. It is hilarious!_

* * *

 _Junko: Sis, Nekomaru and Sakura are boring!_

 _Monokuma: There's nothing worth inflicting despair upon!_

Nekomaru and Sakura were walking side by side talking about many sports programs, but there were no opportunities to inflict despair.

* * *

"Hey there, hall monitor." Akane grabbed Taka with her two arms and was trying to press his face in her boobs.

"Akane, I must plead for you to stop. During a date, we must remain a thirty centimetre distance. But in your case it must be doubled!"

 _Monokuma: Junko, you thinking what I'm thinking?_

 _Junko: Mhm. Someone push Taka!_

Standing near the duo, Mukuro was wearing a beige trenchcoat, sunglasses, and a white mask to protect her identity. Without either Akane or Taka noticing, she pushed Taka into Akane's boobs. Taka screamed while Akane complained about him tickling her.

 _Junko: Monokuma~ Can we skip to the dinner rotation already?_

 _Monokuma: Sure! I got bored already. Geez...this is worse than the perso-_

 _Usami: Don't say it!_

 _Monokuma: Worse than the persona four group date._

 _Usami: He said it…_

* * *

"This dinner date will be a rotation." Monokuma explained. "You will have a small dinner date with one person for five minutes, then we rotate to the next person. This will go on til' everyone has been with everyone rotating once. Group date dinner rotation, begin!"

These are the people rotating:

Kyoko

Celeste

Peko

Ibuki

Akane

Our first pair is Kyoko and Fuyuhiko, followed with Celeste and Sakura, Peko and Taka, Ibuki with Nekomaru, and Akane with Hifumi.

"Tell me about yourself Fuyuhiko." Kyoko was cutting her steak and putting a small dab of butter, while Fuyuhiko ate hamburger steak.

"What? You gonna report my crimes to the police?" Fuyuhiko smirked.

"No. Monokuma said we have to ask at least one question or else he's gonna fire the cream cannon on us. I assume you don't want that to happen." Kyoko pointed to Monokuma who held the cream cannon with a devilish grin.

"Tch. The usual yakuza stuff. Illegal imports, territory disputes, blackmail. What about you?"

"I'm a private investigator. I do my own work and report things to the police. Now that we've asked our question, let's go back to eating." Kyoko went back to eating her steak, as did Fuyuhiko.

"Celeste, may I ask why you went to today's recording? You seemed like you disinterested like a few of our classmates."

"It is simply so I can appeal to all the viewers. I did a little spying myself, and it turns out the public will vote for their favorite student. Although there's no prize besides a trophy, winning would allow me to spread my name further in the underground system. But don't take my word for it. I may be wrong. May I ask why you came?"

"I see. To answer that, Hina was originally meant to come but she caught a cold."

"So you're her substitute. You two must be very good friends."

Celeste and Sakura resumed with their meals, a salad and eclairs, and a protein shake and a royal milk tea respectively.

"Peko." Taka attempted to talk with Peko, but received a glare from both Fuyuhiko and her. "Um, how is your dinner?"

 _Junko:_ _Man, Taka sure is a loser, huh._

"I cannot complain." Peko stated, and went back to eating her meal and drinking her coconut milk.

 _Mukuro:_ _I'm surprised Peko didn't cut him down. Also surprised Fuyuhiko didn't shoot Taka on the spot._

"Ibuki is curious! How does Nekomaru make such huge muscles?"

"Bwahahaha! Hard work and determination. Everyday, you must run one hundred laps around the school for a healthy life!"

"So if Ibuki runs one hundred laps around this restaurant, Ibuki can get huge muscles?!"

 _Junko: Why do I have a bad feeling about this…_

"Ibuki shall do it! One hundred laps it is!" Ibuki jumped from her chair and began to run around the restaurant, bumping into every waiter trying to serve other customers.

 _Junko: We should rotate before Ibuki tears down the restaurant, shouldn't we._

 _Monokuma: Mhm._

* * *

"Ibuki, please come back and eat your food." Taka pleaded with the running girl.

"No way! I can feel the burning of my legs! I can feel it!"

"Ibuki you will come back or I will give you detention!"

"Worth it!"

From Fuyuhiko's table, Celeste let out a sigh.

"How immature of her. If she keeps this up who know what will happen to her."

"Shut the hell up you bitch. I don't wanna talk with you."

Celeste's eye twitched slightly before she went back to her poker face.

 _Junko: This should be interesting. Mukuro, pour something on her._

 _Mukuro: As you wish Junko._

While Celeste was enjoying her royal milk tea, Mukuro in her disguise from before _accidentaly_ spilled water on her gothic dress.

"Very sorry ma'am." Mukuro said and ran back to Junko, Monokuma, and Usami whose mouth was taped shut. Fuyuhiko began laughing at her suffering and Celeste snapped.

"That's it! I've had it with this stupid show! I don't care about the general rankings on the most popular student anymore! In fact, let me say everything wrong with this show! For starters, were being hosted by two furries! A young adult wearing bear ears and a young lady wearing bunny ears! Disgusting!"

From the side, Ibuki collapsed on the floor.

"Ibuki's legs feel funny…"

* * *

 **We are currently experiencing technical difficulties. We apologise for the inconvenience.**

* * *

"And we're back. We've have to skip to the confessions part because we had to send Ibuki to the hospital. Mikan is on her way there unfortunately so Ibuki will live. Everyone, are you all nervous?"

Nobody raised their hands as per usual. Peko was about to but Fuyuhiko glared at her to put it down.

"Grr...who wants to go first?"

Surprisingly, Celeste's hand shot up first.

"Go ahead Celeste."

Celeste stormed up to Hifumi and started screaming at him. "Listen hear you big tub of lard! I want to go back to my dorm, so accept my confession!"

"O-of course Miss Ludenberg."

Celeste grabbed Hifumi's arm and they made their way back to the campus.

"Wow." Usami said.

* * *

"Coach Nekomaru! Let's go get dessert after this." Akane smiled at him, earning one back.

"Sure!" He extended his arm which Akane grasped. Together they walked off to a local ice cream shop.

"Boring~" Junko yawned and rested her head on Mukuro's shoulder.

* * *

"Y-young master." Peko stuttered. She was blushing like mad and so was Fuyuhiko.

" _S-shut up Peko_." He tried to say, but only resulted in whispers.

"I...I think I like you."

"Blergh!" Monokuma shouted, ruining the moment.

"You ruined it!" Usami whined.

"Great acting Peko!" Junko called out to the duo.

"A-acting?" Fuyuhiko asked.

"Um...yes!" Peko answered. "J-just an act!"

Usami puffed her cheeks at Monokuma and Junko who were trying hard to hold in their laughter.

* * *

"I suppose it's just the three of us now." Kyoko said to Taka and Sakura. "Let's just head back to the school and call it a day."

Sakura and Taka nodded and the trio made their way back to school, Junko and Mukuro following them. With everyone but Usami gone, Monokuma turned to the camera.

"And there you have it. This ends the group date. Now for one last confession." He turned to Usami.

"N-no!" Usami screamed.

"Usami…" Monokuma whispered.

"Stop this right now!"

"I think that…"

"Before it's too late! Please, Monokuma!"

"You should kill yourself Monomi! Ahahahaha!"

"What?" Usami remained frozen in shock.

"See you all next time!"

* * *

 _Next time on Hope's Peak Variety Show, the student council make an entrance to the show. Join the seventy seventh and seventy eighth class as they offer feedback as to how to make the school a better campus._

" _Add a buffet table to every classroom!"_

" _Add doughnuts to the kitchen!"_

" _Too much hope! Add despair!"_

" _These are just selfish requests!"_

* * *

 **(A/N) It was fun writing this chapter at first, but then it got boring. At least I got it done, right? So next episode, I will try and feature the student council! We didn't get much from episode 7 besides death but oh well. Let's just hope that it goes well. Thanks again for all the favourites, follows, and reviews! They mean a lot to me! See you all next time!**


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